Essays

These are some hillarious analogies from real high school essays. Enjoy!

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high
school essays.

- John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.

- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she
was the East River.

- Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel
trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted
shut.

- Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But
unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

- The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
not eating for a while.

- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from
stepping on a landmine or something.

- The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

- It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids
with power tools.

- He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

- Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten
to put in any pH cleanser.

- She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
legs.

- Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a
generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band
tightening.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
staple it to the wall.